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dear friends,
i am thankful,
despite of the uneasy feelings and the heartfelt pains in my chest that constantly still haunts me when i sleeep.
the hidings underneath the blanket, and keepin myself away from people. and the wonderings of should i do something about my life. the depressing thoughts that comes and go all the time.
But, m thankful of what you guys have beeen there for,
a hug, sms, a phonecall, a prayer..catching up through ice-creams.
a walk down the street, through lunches.coffees.
a cooked dinner.shoppings.
thank you thank yous for the most little things.
the constant support that you gave, the listening ears, the advices.
the wanting to even meet up,the prayers through the phone.
shoppings;cause retail therapy helps. the amt of time and effort spend listenin to my whinings and nonsense. for suggesting we shld do something to occupy my mind and self.
For the amt of times the strawberry shortcakes happy meals from maccas excites yous.
i am really thankful and contented having you in this journey.
that you are so willling to share your life and journey.
i just want to have a quiet one today,
spend some time at home with work.
i miss home... in malaysia.
alrights
i feel totallly like out of place.
i said the wrong thing.
to the wrong person.
feelings: somber, remorseful, deeply regretted.
dearest yous:im sorrry.
Lord God, i ask for forgiveness.
tame my tongue and words as i might have hurt others
of what i might have said.
make me more aware and be more sensitive
of what others needs are.
i ask this all in your name..
AMEN!
dare i present to YOUS...
streetlife* 2006.....
He makes everything beautiful in HIS TIME...Ecclesiastes 3:11
whilst all
the excitment is happening all over in malaysia and in the family.
m stuck here.
congrats eddy and angel on your wedding
heartfelttttt wishes and blessings are with you from melbourne.
love you cousins.
the boys.
have a new toy
the coffee machine.
they have been testing out which grind is the best
how hard to temp the coffee.
so the crema would come out nice.
how to froth so the milk would be smoooth and at its best
was chilling out at jeromes yest
through 2 mochas.
talking and catching up.
the future lies so uncertain.
the worries of the "going-to-be graduate"
i cant even imagine myself one year down the road.
in times like this
i just wanna curl up at home
and be my emotional self
and let the tears flow non stop.
listen to sad and moppy songs.
snuggle up in bed.
sleeep and sleeep non stop.
flash back memories.
somehow i wished time would just stop then.
someone pointed the finger at me just now
and said it was all my fault.
im feeling all at blues now.
im feeling way affected by that comment.
im hiding back into my shell.
back to where i feel most comfortable.
wheez.weeeeeeeeeeeee..............
m closer to home.
everytime i change my bedsheets means its down by 2 weeeks
it was blueee with flowers.....
and then now its pinkkkk stripess! with lots of other colours.......
anddd when u flip over its flowers.=)
i cant wait to go home and seeee my dearest alls.
dont worrryyy.
love my life here as wellllll..
hhahah for the past 6 days
i had 5 trampoline ice-creammes.
and i think thats the only reason why i am feeling sick and ill.
till thens!!!
met each other as friends.
as the friendship progresses.
both of you decided to go into a relationship.
both of you were each other's world.
sharing life and were each other's all.
but as you break up
you completely cut off with each other's life.
both walk away like you've never met before.
like strangers on the street.
met up with a friend for coffee.
mentioned about how weird and funny
and cannot understand and decipher
whys??
trampoline ice-creams.
lunches at brunswick streets.
shoopppings.
car cruiises.
coffees. n cokes!!
vic markets. haha being an "aunty"
the amt of laughter and spontaneous-ity.
joys, smiles
sharinggggggggg...
staring into blank spaces.
love love lOVE you girlies.
thanks for the day out!!
apart from getting busy with school work
the research n the immense amount of readings.
ive been meeting up with people.
going out with different peoples.
m enjoyin the amt of times when
i can walk out of the hse in the arvos
to the city to shopp.alonee.
there is sales everywhere
and retail therapy always helps.
this weeek, the weathers gonna be really beautiful.
think ill be going to southbank and yarra river for a walk thens.
m really looking forward to that!!! =)
to carol and david..CONGRATS
my heart was with you guys n the family from melbourne yest!!!
i could hear everyone's excitment when i called.
cant wait till june when you guys share with me about the wedding.
loveeesss.
one of my favourite places to go.
too much memories,
loves loves
decisions decisions n more of them.
we always have a choice
whether it be what we want to eat,
what we want to buy, what we choose to do.
its always a choice.
if i wear a mask,
i can fool the world but not my heart
there are so many beautiful things
in the world waiting.
today begins a new chapter in my life.
*YEAY!!!
*you are my God,my life, my all
and i live for you alone,
i am yours evermore.
with walks and ice-creams at brunswick st
to the night markets.
meeting up for teas in the afternoons.
a crazy n wacky bunch of friends
a family and which loves
a spiritual family and a ministry that i love.
and a GOD bigger than anything.
what more can i ask for?
3 weeks have past by.
the pain never ceased to stop
no matter what i do.
i tried and tried
wallowed in the busy-ness of work and things to do.
but it just wldnt go away.
I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words inside my diary,
screaming out loud, as i pen them down.
i know,we can't jump the track cause we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button ever.
breathe, just breathe.
cause there is light at the end of each tunnnel.
i tell myself each day before i go to sleep and pray.
dearest baby..
i miss yous.
i am stuck.
i dun feel good.
i need to have a proper closure to this.
this is so not funnny.
its so affecting me.
ahhhhhh
i miss you.
i miss just having the presence of you in melbourne
the support you always give.
the best news i thought i heard the whole week
was that you were going to apply for p.r to come back and work.
i went past mackers, refused to go in without you.
went to china-bar.
thought of the times we spend there.
stopped outside ur apartment
the immensely amount of time we spend talking and sharing our lives there.
missing you the best friend.
huggies.